


Drowning

by donttouchtheneednoggle



Series: Knights [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, M/M, Merlin (TV) Season/Series 05, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:22:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28878672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donttouchtheneednoggle/pseuds/donttouchtheneednoggle
Summary: Written for Merlin Bingo prompt 'Gwaine'
Relationships: Elyan & Gwaine (Merlin), Gwaine & Percival (Merlin), Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin)
Series: Knights [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2117850
Comments: 15
Kudos: 31
Collections: Merlin Bingo





	Drowning

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Merlin Bingo prompt 'Gwaine'

It’s funny. The witch once said you were honourable and you almost began to believe it. Ironic how it was her you believed it from.

You played your part in the golden dream and it felt right, right enough that you could ignore all that was so very wrong.

Hate is an easy thing to embrace, especially under the guise of shining honour.

Then you watched the last breath sigh from Elyan’s broken body and with it went the gold.

But still, you played your part. You did. You had to, or Percival couldn’t play his and he would shatter and the shards would stab your heart until you bled to death.

So you did. You played your part. You laughed and joked and smirked and drank too much and you did not stare at _him_ like a drowning man and you did not swear on your life a little too fervently to protect _his_ beloved and you did not leave _him_ your only means of defence even though you suspected he did not need it and you did not ride to your death with your remaining best friend out of guilt for having failed _him_.

Except you did.

You did all of that and more because you were drowning and he was dry land, you were lost in darkness and he was the sun. Always was.

Only the land did not reach for you, and the sun did not turn its gaze upon you, because it couldn’t. He couldn’t. He never could.

He was too broken and too desperate and you couldn’t see it before but then you could, and you didn’t know but you understood.

You were all doomed.

You are Sir Gwaine and she broke you, screaming and begging for the end.

You are Sir Gwaine and you died defeated and disgraced.

You are Sir Gwaine and now you rest your head on Elyan’s shoulder and watch the world come undone.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos appreciated <3
> 
> Come hang out on [tumblr](https://donttouchtheneednoggle.tumblr.com/)!


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